Teaching by example is more important than words and, above all, being consistent with your actions, because that is what your children see and internalize.
Parenthood completely changed me and made me do a 180 degree turn. When my daughter Lorenza was born, not only did I become a father for the first time, but I also saved my childhood through her. It was a profound and beautiful process. I am very grateful to her because she was my best teacher without me knowing it.
Kailani, my second daughter, captured more perfection, more of a father, more aware of many nuances, but equally beautiful and special. Today I feel full, because on the one hand I enjoy parenting an 18-year-old girl, and on the other hand parenting a four-year-old child – it’s not like that anymore. They are my greatest gift and the most important role I’ve had to play. Without fear of making mistakes, the biggest challenge of being a father is not passing on your traumas, shortages and absences to your sons or daughters; It’s important to heal your childhood so you can give them love and support.
In my case, I believe that educating by example is more important than words and, above all, being consistent with your actions, because that is what your children see and internalize. The best advice, which I also had to put into practice to save my life, was to assume that I was my own mother and father, and with that restraint I could pass it on to my daughters. Because being a father goes far beyond the affective relationships between parents.
In my case, I have a very personal and deep connection with each of my daughters in their own way, but in the end the bond is strengthened with love and support and with the knowledge and feeling that the father is there unconditionally to talk and deal with him. about any subject. It is very important for me to accompany them in all their phases, but it is also important for them to grow up seeing and experiencing healthy and loving bonds between father and mother.
Personally, the parenthood I experienced as a son (looking back I don’t think I managed to save anything) is the perfect example of what I don’t want for my daughters. I experienced a lot of violence – verbal, physical and psychological – and also an estrangement incapable of generating empathy. And so, what I did, and what plays an important role is therapy, because by rediscovering myself, healing myself and feeling good about myself, I found in example the best version of a father I can be, giving everything to my daughters I can be. What I didn’t receive from the depths, offers them healthy and loving parenting.
The best preparation anyone can have to become a parent is to know, heal, love and respect themselves to give their children a more conscious parental bond. That’s why I think the best legacy I can leave is that they love each other, respect each other, embrace each other in order to face any loss or adverse situation that may arise. , but also see what is really important in life to enjoy. in each of its stages.
It would be very difficult for me to choose a lesson to teach them, but if I had to, I think it would be very important to find and enjoy self-love, because in the end everything happens, the good and the bad.